3 Tips to Help You Navigate the Discomfort of Becoming Visible
Being visible and seen can feel like one of the scariest things possible for an introvert who is perfectly content to be behind the scenes and with their own company.
I am an introvert and would love to be behind the scenes most of the time. The thing is I also have big dreams of helping people get out of their own way/head to see or remember what’s possible for them and go after it.
I have that dream because I spent too much of my life being in my own way and letting the things that happened to me keep me from being the woman I want to be and going after the things I want. I let my struggles define me and almost lost belief in what could be possible. But with help from God and lots of personal development, I learned how to navigate the hand I’ve been dealt and am building the life I want most from a place of thriving. It’s a constant journey with some amazing stops along the way so far.
A few years ago I decided to bravely start sharing what I’d learned with others and have been pursuing the path of coaching ever since. While I’ll never stop learning general, I’m nearing the end of my current stage of professional coaching training. Showing up for this has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (and there has been a good number).
It’s been challenging because I struggle with needing to be visible. This is a real problem for someone who wants to be a help to others because the only way others will know is for me to be visible in some way. (Ironic and a great growth opportunity.)
The reason we need/want to be visible might vary, but the way it feels can be similar. You might want to have a relationship with someone and they don’t know who you are (yet). You might have a problem at work, but it’s ongoing because you aren’t currently seen. You might want that promotion, but you aren’t visible as a candidate (yet). You might have a dream that you want to bring to life, but can’t connect with the people that could help you do that because you aren’t seeing it (yet).
Or it might be something entirely different. The point is there are many different reasons we want or need to be seen and yet it might feel very uncomfortable. That discomfort* is one of the things standing in your way.
*Let me quickly say that “discomfort” is a simplified version that covers a range of emotions from simple discomfort to your brain exploding in panic. So wherever you might be on that scale, know you are welcome here!
Here are a few things I’m learning along my journey to help me navigate that discomfort*…
1- Know why you want/need to be visible
What is the purpose of becoming visible? What do you want on the other side of it? Identifying this and using it as an anchor thought keeps you focused on what you really want and helps you productively channel your discomfort.
2 - Know what you are willing and unwilling to do
Taking brave action outside your comfort zone is necessary for getting what you really want. What isn’t necessary is taking action that compromises your values to get ahead in the short term. This requires some self-awareness. Be honest and if you're afraid, find your way to navigate the fear and bravely do the thing.
But if what you feel isn’t only fear, but something deeper, make sure you listen to that. Taking action in the short term that compromises your values isn’t usually worth the results. If you run into this, get curious and find what’s being compromised and so you can create your own path around it.
3 - Give yourself extra support for the “messy middle” place of waiting
Once you’ve taken action and are waiting to see if you were visible/seen and how it will turn out is a challenging place to be. Be aware when you are in that place. Make sure you’re giving yourself what you need to thrive there (while possibly continuing to take more steps to be visible).
If you find yourself in a place of needing/desiring to be seen and would like to have extra support to navigate and find ways to help you feel empowered along that journey (or anything else you are navigating), I’d love to explore how coaching might help you with that.
I’m currently (March-August 2022) offering special-priced packages/flexible rates for coaching as I’m going through the final stage of my professional coaching certification. If you’d like to know more, schedule a free 30-minute Clarity Call and let’s explore what could be possible for you through coaching.
Remember, you are capable and so many things are possible for you! Do you believe this?