Three Things That Helped Me Choose Self-awareness

There was a time when I didn’t want to know what was going on inside myself.  Everything was locked down so tight and I was managing life fine without it. At least that’s what I was telling myself based on my level of understanding at the time.  I didn’t want to look inside to face myself and the hurts of my past because it was too painful, confusing, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever surface again after diving in.

Since then I’ve learned some things that have helped me to see that it’s worth the pain and discomfort to choose self-awareness.  It’s the way to a rich and full life that can lead to rich and full relationships over time.

Three of those things are…

I had to learn what was going on inside me in order to learn how to control my external reactions before I ruined my marriage and other important relationships.

Early in my marriage, I started to experience a painful shift in how I was reacting towards my husband.  Most of the time we were the typical loving newlyweds. But there were other times when I would simply go off on him in reaction to something he said or did.  It felt justified at the moment, but I’d always regret it later.

After a few months of this, we decided we need to get some help with our communication. We worked with a wonderful couple for over a year.  We learned so much, but it didn’t seem to be fixing the problem. During this time my friend suggested I might find the help I needed in a support group. I was very skeptical and didn’t want to go, but I was desperate for change, so I bravely went.  That was the beginning of my self-awareness journey. It wasn’t easy, but 15 years later, I can certainly say it was definitely worth it!

I learned that emotions would express themselves one way or another over time.  By being aware of what was going on I could choose how they were expressed instead of losing control and exploding in ways that hurt others and caused regrets.

For the longest time, I thought I didn’t have to deal with my emotions.  I thought they could be brushed aside and ignored. This helped me for a time, but it backfired on me in the long run. 

Emotions have the funny habit of coming out at the most inconvenient time. They also usually come out in a way that is hurtful to those we love most.  When I began to understand this I realized I needed to stop dismissing my emotions and learn how to deal with them in a healthy manner.

I learned that my emotions are not my enemy. I also saw that they can add so much to my life when I understand them and know how to oversee them in a healthy way.

Emotions are an indicator (positive or negative) that something is going on. Learning how to understand what’s being said is where the journey of self-awareness begins.
It opens the door to the rich inner world that we all have available to us inside. It’s how we build a relationship with ourselves and in turn, helps us to cultivate deeper relationships with others.

Emotions also offer depth and richness to life that makes us human. They feel so messy and some are really uncomfortable, but I’m learning they’re worth the trouble. Without emotions, I think we would be a lot like robots. It would make it nearly impossible for us to connect on a deeper level with others and ourselves.

“Emotions feel so messy and some are really uncomfortable, but I’m learning they’re worth the trouble.”

There are so many other things that have helped me continue to choose self-awareness over the years. I hope these have been helpful to you and might even encourage you to consider embarking on your own inner journey. As I said before, emotions are messy but they make us human and are well worth getting a little messy for.