Things I’m Learning About Perfectionism

I used to be a big perfectionist. I thought I had overcome it, but recently I discovered perfectionism is a whole lot bigger than I thought.

Here’s what I’m learning…

~It has many different sides to it.

I thought I had conquered my struggle with perfectionism.  It used to keep me from starting things unless I knew I could do it perfectly.  Since that isn’t my struggle anymore, I thought I was no longer a perfectionist.  Little did I know it was like HYDRA within S.H.E.I.L.D. and went underground and grew into an insidious organism within.  (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier for a detailed reference.  But the basic idea is they thought the villain was gone only to discover it had been growing in their midst all along.)

That’s what I discovered with perfectionism in my own life.  I had been aware of several things I was struggling with, but I didn’t know it was all rooted in perfectionism until I read the book Finish by Jon Acuff.  The funny thing is I picked up the book because I wanted to build a habit of finishing things.  I had no idea it was a book on perfectionism and exactly what I needed.

“It must be a sure thing or not at all, so in following perfectionism I was denying myself joy in my journey.”

~It can keep you from starting.

This was what I thought perfectionism was.  Thinking that things must be perfect kept me from starting anything that I wasn’t sure I could do perfectly.

~It can keep you from finishing.

This has been the biggest revelation of the book Finish by Jon Acuff.  I didn’t realize that perfectionism was keeping me from finishing.  I’m still working my way back through the book so I can apply what I’m learning, so I’ll share more on this in the future.

~It is a liar.

Perfectionism loves to tell you things like you will never be able to do it good enough.  Or maybe people will hate what you create because it isn’t good enough.  Well, that simply isn’t true.  You might really stink at first.  That’s where most beginners start.  It takes several crummy attempts to improve over time (if you keep going).  The biggest lie is found in the “never” part of perfectionism.  We believe it because we can clearly see what was made isn’t very good.  What we forget in that moment is that we can become better over time.

~It can hide and is very convincing.

If you are not aware that perfectionism is working against you, then you are at a disadvantage.  You might not be aware that what’s holding you back is perfectionism.  The things it tells you to keep you from taking action can seem very reasonable and true.

~It will use praise or criticism to keep you from taking action.

Sometimes perfectionism will tell you that you are too good for something.  Other times it will tear you to pieces with its harsh judgment and condemnation.  The end result will be the same though.  It wants you to keep from taking action on the things you want to take action on.

“Perfectionism loves to tell you things like you will never be able to do it good enough.”

~It robs you of joy on the journey.

I love to create things, experiment, and follow my curiosity. When I'm free to do those things I experience so much joy. Yet those things require failed attempts and messiness. Perfectionism can’t allow that. It must be a sure thing or not at all, so in following perfectionism, I was denying myself joy in my journey.

~It can be overcome.

You don’t have to be a prisoner of perfectionism.  Like any thought pattern, it can be navigated through and replaced.  The first step starts with being aware of what is actually happening.  Then you need to recognize the lies of perfectionism and replace them with the truth.  Finally, you need to embrace the discomfort and do the work every time perfectionism shows up.  Gradually you will notice that it isn’t as big of a struggle and growth is happening.

There is much more I could share, and I hope to share more in the future as I work through my own new revelations about perfectionism in my life. 

If you struggle with perfectionism or finishing things I highly recommend reading Finish by Jon Acuff.  If you enjoy audiobooks, I really recommend that format.  I found myself laughing quite a bit which is unexpected about this topic.

So now you know that I struggle with perfectionism.  What about you?  Do any of these things resonate with you?  Have you found something that has helped you grow in this area of your life?  If so, let me know in the comments below.